Why the Cullens don't have Pets
by ladyscene
Summary: A silly fanfiction, I wrote when i was bored. Bella wants a pet , so Edward buys her one. The problem? Bella lives in a house full of vampires.


Bella's PET

**Bella's PET!**

"Edward?" I called from upstairs in our room. Me and Edward had been married for two months and now I lived with him. Edward was at my side in a flash.

"Yes, love?" Edward asked me.

"I want a pet." Edward looked at me funny for a moment.

"A pet dear? In a house full of vampires? That's not the best idea."

"yes but you are very rich so that's not a problem and I don't think anyone would kill a pet I loved so much!" I exclaimed.

"What pet did you have in mind Bella?" Edward sighed giving up.

"I don't know. Lets start with a fish and we can work our way up okay Eddie?"

"Bella! Don't call me Eddie! You know I hate that. But fine what ever. I'll go get your aquarium!" Edward sprung from the bed and was off at vampire speed.

**3 Hours Later**

The aquarium Edward got (and the fish) were beautiful! The aquarium took up at least my heights worth length wise and an arms length in width. There was many multi colour rocks on the bottom of the tank. It was filled with decorations to. There was a ship wreck scene with little holes in the ship, there was a miniature coral reef, and a scuba diver also there was a treasure chest and a volcano that little bubbles flowed out of. As for the fish well! There was a Chinese fighting fish which was red and black. I named it foe fighter. Also there was an Oscar fish that I named Gary, and another named Oscar. There was a yellow fish that had a black strip on one side that I named taxi, there was an algae eater that I named bob, and various other fish that I didn't get a chance to name.

Alice came running up the stairs followed by Jasper Emmett and Rose.

"WHAT THE!" Emmett yelled running over to my fish. I lunged forward to stop him, only to be pulled out of the way by Edward.

"HEY!" I screamed. Emmett thankfully stopped an inch away from the aquarium. All the fish went into hiding though. Edward let me go.

"EMMETT! YOU COULD HAVE GIVEN THEM A HEART ATTACK!" I screamed.

"It smelt funny so I wanted to know what they were. I wonder what fresh sea food tastes like? Hmmm… Thanks Bells! I was hungry."

"Emmett! They aren't food! They are my pets so don't even think about touching them. Edward would know if you do!" I said to Emmett who was still eyeing my babies hungrily.

**Three weeks later.**

Edward tucked me into bed and went over to feed my fish while humming my lullaby. I drifted to sleep quicker than usual.

When I woke up it felt like I had been asleep for all of ten minutes. When I looked at the clock I discovered it was true. I got up and turned towards my fish tank.

"OH MY CARSHIZZLE!" I shouted. There crouched over my fish tank was Emmett, and Rosalie. Edward was passed out in the corner (or as passed out as a vampire could get) and Jasper was standing over him. When I shouted all there heads snapped up except Edwards.

"Oh, Bella is awake! Retain her." Emmett shouted.

"Emmett! Bella is just a human! She cant _do _anything to stop us! We are all mighty hyper vampires!" Alice squealed as she walked over to the tank with fishing rods.

"WHAT! ARE YOU GOING TO EAT THEM?! HOW COULD YOU!" I screeched Alice covered her ears and threw a meaningful glance at Jasper. I automatically fell asleep.

I woke up at 8:00 and found my fish tank completely empty and Edward still 'passed out' in the corner. I ran over and shook him. Edward woke immediately, and grabbed my arms. He didn't realize it was me until he had me pinned to the ground.

"Edward? Its Bella. Your hurting my arms Edward." I said as calmly as possible.

"Oh! Oh, Bella! Oh thank god! I am so sorry." Edward apologized as he got off of me. I rubbed my arms. There were going to be bruises there.

"For what Edward? For not being able to fight Jaspers power? For blacking out? That's not your fault. I didn't like the fish that much anyway!"

"Oh.. Well there is that.. but also for pining you like that. I could have hurt you!"

"bah! You wouldn't dare!"

"sure, sure what ever." Edward scoffed and sat on the bed. I remained laying on the floor staring at the ceiling.

"Eddie.." I said in my best pouty voice.

"AHH! Bella NOO!" Edward screamed.

"If you.."

"NOO! NO BELLA DON'T"

"If you love me.."

"NOOOO!! BELLA DON'T DO THIS TO ME!"

"you'll get me a fluffy hamster and a pretty cage for it."

"ARG!! Bella!"

"Please Eddie?"

"FINE!"

Edward marched out of the room carrying the aquarium with him, suddenly there was a loud shatter and Emmett screaming bloody murder. I laughed and sat on the bed to await Edwards return. I was thinking about what I would name my hamster. I was thinking I liked Harry.

_**Two hours later!**_

Edward was back and he was carrying at least twenty boxes. I wonder what he was going to do with them… hmm maybe he is going to make a box fort, He better share with me! I do not know what I would do if he wouldn't let me play in his boxy fort! That would be cruel!

"Edward where is Hamby?" I asked impatiently when Edward was done bringing his boxes for what I assumed was his boxy box fort.

"Your Hamster is in one of these boxes. I think its in the one with holes in it…..oh…no its right here." Edward pulled a box out of a bag he was carrying. He handed it to me.

"Thank you Edward, I wuv you." I said as I peered into the box. Sitting inside was a white little hamster. He had a grey patch on his back and he had a black spot over his right eye. Hamby's paws had brown splotches on all four paws, each one looked different. Hamby's eyes were like black marbles.

"Where is his cage Edward? Where is he going to sleep? Where is he going to sleep? Where is he going to eat? And most importantly where is he going to poop?"

"Hamby? What kind of name is that? And all these boxes are filled with parts to a magical cage for 'Hamby""

"ooohhh! Ahhhhh! Well why are you just standing here? Edward you wouldn't want to make me put Hamby's cage together right? I could hurt myself right? And your a lot faster than me!"

"Yeah sure. Fine, wait paitently,love." Edward sighed. He started setting up everything at vampire speed, and was done in twenty minutes.

"Bella, love. May I please see hamby?" Edward asked.

"ok…Hamby meet Edward, your new daddy." I said as I handed my preciouse hamby to Edward. He handled it carefully, more carefully than he handled me, and set Hamby in the cage. Hamby was off in a second running around the many tubes that were now strewn across the room. Edward came and sat down beside me.

"OOOOHHHHHH!! AHHHHHHHH!! Its so cute!" Alice exclaimed as she ran into the room and watched my Hamby scurry around.

**Three weeks later**

"Bella! I'm hungry! Can I palease have a snack?" Emmett complained, eyeing Hamby carefully. I knew he would anyway, because as far as he is concerned only Edward could stop him and he wasn't here.

"No! Emmett! Please don't!" I exclaimed. But it was too late. Emmett snatched Hamby and ran him out of the room. I pouted and waited for Edward to come home. I would have been more sad, except Hamby was a grouchy mean hamster that always tried to bite me. I think he was a vampire hamster.

"Bella?" Edward asked as he walked into my room three hours later.

"Edward? Emmett ate Hamby." I said sadly.

"EMMETTT!" Edward roard marching down the stairs. The water ran for about five minutes, and I contemplated getting up to find out why, when there was a loud splash, and Emmett screaming rape. I laughed and contemplated getting a new pet.

Edward came back into the room then.

"Edward? Do you love me?" I asked sullenly.

"Oh! Of course I do love. What would make you think I didn't?" He asked.

"Well, I was wondering, if you love me like you say you do, then will you get me a kitten?" I asked, while pouting.

"Um….What kind of kitten?" Edward asked.

"One that Emmett wont eat." I stated. Edward remained quiet for a moment before smiling.

"Bella, love. I'll be back tomorrow. Get Emmett to clean this up okay?" Edward asked rushing out of the room.

"OK." I mumbled. "Emmett! I have something for you." I stated.

"OHH!! Another hamster?" Emmett asked, suddenly beside me. I looked at him with puppy dog eyes, knowing he couldn't resist.

"Uh oh." Emmett mumbled.

"Since you brutely killed Hamby, may he rest in peace, you get to clean up Hamby's, may he rest in peace, cage." I stated. Emmett sulked but got up and did so anyway. He was done in a half hour.

"good Emmett. You can have a cookie." I said appraisingly. Emmett smiled and grabbed a cookie from under my bed, he stuffed it in his mouth, forgetting he was a vampire, who did not eat human food. He made a face then ran into the bathroom and barfed. Emmett walked out and gave me a dirty look, before marching to his room.

**Next Day**

"Bella! I'm back! And look what I got!" Edward said meerily, before walking into the room, carrying a small, white kitten, who started struggling in his arms ferociously, so much so that Edward was having a hard time holding him.

"Edward what is that?" I asked as I cringed away from the cat.

"Well, you wanted a kitten Emmett couldn't eat, and I remember the Volturi used to take stray animals and turn them. Then I thought what a great Idea!" He exclaimed.

"Edward! I am human here! With Blood! Wont that be a problem?" I exclaimed.

"Oh yeah….okay, I'll be back tomorrow. And no more pets okay?" Edward asked.

"Yeah, I guess. At least not until I'm a vampire, then we can get a vampire bat!" I exclaimed, as Edward sighed and pulled the vampire kitten out the door.

**THE END!! :D!! Or is it? BUH BUH BUHHHHHHH!**


End file.
